Being a Parent of a Musical Child - Part 10: Grace and Humility

People​ ​often​ ​mistake​ ​grace​ ​and​ ​humility​ ​as​ ​strictly​ ​religious​ ​traits.​ ​They’re​ ​not.​ ​They​ ​are​ ​aspects of​ ​a​ ​personality​ ​that​ ​bleed​ ​into​ ​all​ ​aspects​ ​of​ ​life,​ ​and​ ​generally​ ​speaking​ ​they​ ​are​ ​characteristics that​ ​engender​ ​admiration​ ​and​ ​respect.

But​ ​are​ ​they​ ​necessary?

In​ ​the​ ​course​ ​of​ ​your​ ​child’s​ ​(or​ ​your​ ​own)​ ​studies,​ ​you​ ​will​ ​undoubtedly​ ​meet​ ​and​ ​possibly​ ​get​ ​to know​ ​quite​ ​a​ ​few​ ​musicians,​ ​if​ ​you​ ​haven’t​ ​already.​ ​Some​ ​of​ ​them​ ​will​ ​be​ ​gracious,​ ​kind,​ ​willing to​ ​go​ ​out​ ​of​ ​their​ ​way​ ​to​ ​help​ ​a​ ​fellow​ ​musician​ ​learn​ ​something​ ​new​ ​or​ ​master​ ​something they’re​ ​struggling​ ​with,​ ​and​ ​others​ ​will​ ​be​ ​dismissive,​ ​apathetic,​ ​and​ ​will​ ​leave​ ​you​ ​with​ ​the impression​ ​that​ ​they​ ​feel​ ​you​ ​are​ ​beneath​ ​them​ ​or​ ​a​ ​waste​ ​of​ ​their​ ​time.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​embrace​ ​an audience​ ​of​ ​any​ ​size,​ ​while​ ​others​ ​will​ ​throw​ ​a​ ​tantrum​ ​if​ ​a​ ​turnout​ ​is​ ​too​ ​small.​ ​Some​ ​will​ ​learn everything​ ​they​ ​can​ ​from​ ​everyone​ ​they​ ​come​ ​across​ ​while​ ​others​ ​will​ ​barely​ ​acknowledge​ ​their own​ ​teachers​ ​because​ ​they​ ​are​ ​too​ ​wrapped​ ​up​ ​in​ ​what​ ​they​ ​see​ ​as​ ​their​ ​own​ ​inherent​ ​ability.

Which​ ​would​ ​you​ ​rather​ ​have​ ​as​ ​a​ ​role​ ​model?

Once​ ​you​ ​can​ ​answer​ ​that​ ​question,​ ​it’s​ ​a​ ​natural​ ​leap​ ​to​ ​understanding​ ​why​ ​grace​ ​and​ ​humility are​ ​important​ ​for​ ​musicians.

Understand,​ ​there​ ​is​ ​a​ ​difference​ ​between​ ​humility​ ​and​ ​low​ ​self​ ​esteem.​ ​The​ ​two​ ​are​ ​often​ ​seen as​ ​the​ ​same;​ ​however,​ ​the​ ​reactions​ ​to​ ​them​ ​should​ ​be​ ​different.​ ​Someone​ ​with​ ​low​ ​self​ ​esteem needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​built​ ​up,​ ​whereas​ ​if​ ​you​ ​build​ ​up​ ​someone​ ​who​ ​is​ ​merely​ ​humble​ ​it​ ​could​ ​lead​ ​to​ ​an over-inflated​ ​sense​ ​of​ ​self,​ ​shutting​ ​out​ ​an​ ​awareness​ ​of​ ​others.

Learning​ ​how​ ​to​ ​accept​ ​a​ ​compliment​ ​graciously,​ ​with​ ​a​ ​simple​ ​thank​ ​you,​ ​isn’t​ ​inherent…​ ​or easy.​ ​It’s​ ​more​ ​comfortable​ ​to​ ​remain​ ​silently​ ​embarrassed​ ​or​ ​to​ ​deflect​ ​the​ ​compliment altogether.​ ​But​ ​getting​ ​out​ ​of​ ​our​ ​comfort​ ​zones​ ​is​ ​what​ ​helps​ ​us​ ​to​ ​grow​ ​and​ ​evolve.

If​ ​this​ ​is​ ​just​ ​hugely​ ​awkward,​ ​try​ ​accepting​ ​the​ ​compliment​ ​along​ ​with​ ​an​ ​honest​ ​inquiry​ ​for improvement​ ​pointers.

Make​ ​an​ ​effort​ ​to​ ​help​ ​out​ ​others​ ​whenever​ ​it​ ​is​ ​feasible​ ​to​ ​do​ ​so.

Eliminate​ ​negative​ ​self​ ​talk.​ ​Also​ ​eliminate​ ​excessive​ ​egoism.​ ​Confidence​ ​is​ ​fantastic, confidence​ ​at​ ​the​ ​expense​ ​of​ ​others​ ​is​ ​not.

#music #kids #musician #parent #parenting #grace #humility